put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Panties = found
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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