Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
