I murdered the dance floor call the cops
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
