U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
