I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?