i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
