you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
