PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
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I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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