So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize