he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
