why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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