Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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