At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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