i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
