Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
