then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
