In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
