weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
