I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
