I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
