wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
