Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
