Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT