She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.