I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.