You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS