the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.