I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!