Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom

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  (708): To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/md1a
  Replies (0) Good night (212) Bad night (299)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.

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  (570): I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this. http://tfl.nu/4rte
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (299)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.

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  (303): I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags. http://tfl.nu/ob1k
  Replies (1) Good night (156) Bad night (298)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My cast smells like cheese steak rolls

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  (267): My cast smells like cheese steak rolls http://tfl.nu/yq13
  Replies (1) Good night (126) Bad night (298)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So, Cheetos don't microwave great.

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  (505): So, Cheetos don't microwave great. http://tfl.nu/v29r
  Replies (1) Good night (142) Bad night (296)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad

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  (540): And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad http://tfl.nu/nf3b
  Replies (4) Good night (187) Bad night (296)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?

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  (919): SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!? http://tfl.nu/wrua
  Replies (0) Good night (145) Bad night (290)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING

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  (252): MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING http://tfl.nu/khw2
  Replies (4) Good night (145) Bad night (285)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it

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  (765): I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it http://tfl.nu/jq0d
  Replies (1) Good night (103) Bad night (282)
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  (607): View more from New York

  YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus

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  (607): YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus http://tfl.nu/47xe
  Replies (1) Good night (173) Bad night (280)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.

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  (505): No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back. http://tfl.nu/rjsp
  Replies (0) Good night (117) Bad night (279)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.

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  (989): 8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me. http://tfl.nu/04oc
  Replies (0) Good night (208) Bad night (275)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning

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  (302): Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning http://tfl.nu/3ky2
  Replies (0) Good night (123) Bad night (271)
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  (858): View more from California

  2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.

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  (858): 2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass. http://tfl.nu/03qu
  Replies (3) Good night (187) Bad night (271)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks

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  (937): she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks http://tfl.nu/aet8
  Replies (1) Good night (139) Bad night (270)