Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)

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  (703): so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one) http://tfl.nu/n24l
  Replies (1) Good night (239) Bad night (258)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?

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  (512): gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related? http://tfl.nu/n9xb
  Replies (0) Good night (228) Bad night (255)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.

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  (937): Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy. http://tfl.nu/qeui
  Replies (1) Good night (155) Bad night (255)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month

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  (708): honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month http://tfl.nu/5sc5
  Replies (0) Good night (229) Bad night (246)
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  (646): View more from New York

  NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.

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  (646): NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE. http://tfl.nu/24o4
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (246)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed

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  (630): YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE (1-630): Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down. (630): you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed http://tfl.nu/6tq1
  Replies (0) Good night (75) Bad night (245)
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  (650): View more from California

  you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'

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  (650): you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples' http://tfl.nu/p225
  Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (245)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.

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  (773): Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was. http://tfl.nu/w7or
  Replies (1) Good night (109) Bad night (244)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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  (214): Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl http://tfl.nu/3o7f
  Replies (3) Good night (168) Bad night (244)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?

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  (732): Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not? http://tfl.nu/q61f
  Replies (1) Good night (174) Bad night (244)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude

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  (407): I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude http://tfl.nu/p3sw
  Replies (1) Good night (166) Bad night (243)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break

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  (610): Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break http://tfl.nu/ukrr
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (243)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying

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  (406): i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying http://tfl.nu/uzyx
  Replies (0) Good night (220) Bad night (241)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall

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  (267): just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall http://tfl.nu/hcmp
  Replies (1) Good night (145) Bad night (240)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies

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  (920): I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies http://tfl.nu/wxnc
  Replies (5) Good night (253) Bad night (238)