Worst Nights of the Month

ADVERTISEMENT

• (305): View more from Florida

  Can I use your boat

  (305): View more from Florida

  Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?

  (786): View more from Florida

  WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night

  Fav 0 66 5

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.

  Fav 0 39 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves

  Fav 0 48 5

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.

  Fav 0 43 5

  share tweet
  

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  That makes no sense, but good luck

  Fav 0 2 4

  share tweet
  

• (626): View more from California

  I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.

  Fav 0 13 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!

  Fav 0 52 4

  share tweet
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.

  Fav 0 33 4

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?

  Fav 0 46 4

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.

  Fav 0 70 4

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!

  Fav 0 67 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts

  Fav 0 61 4

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.

  Fav 0 43 4

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  2020 sucks, I want a refund

  Fav 0 46 3

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT