I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?