Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Week

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes. http://tfl.nu/sfqd
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  So the keyword here is "hammered"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right? (1-404): So the keyword here is "hammered"? http://tfl.nu/1kxs
  Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (126)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius. http://tfl.nu/p1hh
  Replies (9) Good night (971) Bad night (101) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/qtt5
  Replies (4) Good night (968) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride' http://tfl.nu/25m4
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again? http://tfl.nu/dyj9
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table http://tfl.nu/xk9z
  Replies (4) Good night (958) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five. http://tfl.nu/vwra
  Replies (7) Good night (952) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): You asked him for a membership to him and his dick. http://tfl.nu/mfxs
  Replies (5) Good night (941) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (939) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN. http://tfl.nu/jkdc
  Replies (14) Good night (934) Bad night (177)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend. http://tfl.nu/7j2q
  Replies (9) Good night (924) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

  (210): View more from Texas

  No

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool (210): No http://tfl.nu/m5ry
  Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (118)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal. http://tfl.nu/hfw2
  Replies (6) Good night (905) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt