shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm always down for nudity.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.