Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!