One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?