If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I want is dick and wine.
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found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.