We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
