i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A+ Viking dick
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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