he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
