it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize