you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
