Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize