My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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