Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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