is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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