He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
