remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage