I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night