have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
