Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
