I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
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So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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