that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
