There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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