i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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