I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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