She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
