By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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