Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
