How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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