I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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