have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
