So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
