I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Boobs speak an international language.
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Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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