I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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