I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
