Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
